Mary Barry is an asshole

I know that is not a very nice word to use to describe someone but she totally ruined my day, and my biscuits, and I am seriously annoyed.

For those of you who don't know, Mary is somewhat of a legend in the UK for her baking knowledge and skills. She judges this great program on the BBC called the Great British Bake Off and for Christmas Martin gave me her cookbook. Today I attempted to make some biscuits from one of her recipes, which seemed relatively simple to make but looked impressive at the same time.

Well, let's just say Mary either has biceps of steel or she has neglected to include what are some much needed guidance and advice in her recipe. The biscuits are a simple butter dough and are to be shaped using a piping bag and a star tip. Having successfully made the dough I then filled my piping bag with star tip, as well as a line of food colouring in the bag for added effect and was ready for the magic to being. Well that bloody dough was so stiff it wouldn't squeeze out of the bag. Four bags and several curse words later I gave up and tried to shape the now hideous pink dough ( as that was the colour I was left with after trying to soften and pipe the dough) into perhaps a nice star or ginger bread shape. However now the dough was too soft and after a few attempts I binned the dough as it was too ugly to eat and I hated it, and Mary Barry too much to continue. I made whoopsie pies instead.

PS...Closer examination of the book cover reveals the recipe is not actually by Mary Berry and that she simply offers guidance for the recipes.. Sadly, not for this one.