Much Better

I am reading a much better book now. Ursula Under somehow got lost on our camping trip so now I feel free to move onto bigger and better things. Now I am reading 'Flesh and Blood" by Michael Cunningham. So far it is really good and the writing is so much better. It is one of those books that I look forward to going home to read. Given the chance I would just sit down with it for a day and bang it out. I also read his book "The Hours" which they made into a movie. I liked that book as well and felt the movie really did not do it justice. He has an interesting way of portraying women. I am not sure I like it but I do enjoy his novels.

I win I win I win

What a great weekend. I feel the need to write all about it so my little peanut brain doesn't forget. Friday night was girls night. Ginny and I met up with some girls, took a tour of the mission and then left as soon as was polite. I like hanging out with the girls and I met some really nice new ones, but my idea of a fun night out is not going to some scummy club in the mission. On our way out the door, Ginny found $10 and we took it as a sign that the night was not over for us. What was suppose to turn into "one more drink" turned into a slumber party and a bad hangover. I had so much fun hanging out with Ginny though and I am so glad we got to stay up late and have some true juicy girl talk. And I think she has the most comfortable pull out bed ever made. I could have slept forever but I didn't because...

Saturday was a trip up to Napa. Stinky, Genie and I met up with some of Stinky's friends who were camping up in Napa. Although I was not excited about the thought of having to camp and sleep on the hard hard ground I decided it was worth it to just get out of the city. We met some of Stinkys friends at a vineyard and did some wine tasting. Oddly enough I have never been wine tasting. It is so much fun! They are so nice. And I can pretend to know something about wine so then they offer up all sorts of information. Very educational.

After wine tasting at several vineyards and a picnic lunch we headed back to the campsite to cook us some bbq and spend the night beside a cozy campfire. We told ghost stories (which I am not a fan of) cooked smores (which are not as good as I remember) and spent the evening laughing and talking. Eventually (and by that I mean 10:00pm) the camp ranger told us it was time to start speaking in whispers so we called it a night and slept under the stars. (kind of-the stars were kind of hard to see with the tent in the way, but at least they were there) I have to say that although the thought of sleeping outside sounds peaceful, it is really kind of annoying. Birds wake up really early and like to make it known. I am usually a really heavy sleeper but there was something unnatural about a bird chirping that early in the morning. Guess I am just a city girl. The campsite we stayed at actually had a pool so we spent the Sunday lounging by the pool, enjoying the sun because God knows how long it has been since I have seen it in the city, and relaxing, happy we were not in the fog and cold. After lunch we headed back to the city where we all quickly became depressed that the weekend was over and it was back to our normal lives.

Oh, and can I just say, I KICK ASS. Stinky's ass that is. He challenged me to a race-a swim race-and I won. I didn't actually think I would. It was great. We took off and because I didn't really expect to win I wasn't giving it my all. But when I looked over and saw that Stinky and I were close I put it into high gear and took the lead. Genie says it was really close but close schmose, I won! Yeah me! Ah, sweet victory. But now I will put it to rest because Stinky can run a lot faster than me, although I am pretty sure I could still beat him on a bike.

I am reading the worse book

I am reading right now Urlsla Under and I am not enjoying it at all. The dialogue is AWFUL! It makes me never want to have children. The way the writer portrays the child is so annoying. I don't like her at all. And the dialogue between the two adult main characters is even worse. They don't sound like anyone I know except people I don't know for a reason. I am tempted to call it quits and put the book down but I am half way through and feel since I have suffered this long I might as well finish. Argh. I didn't think it was a book I would like when I bought it-one of those books that takes you through the ancestory of the characters, but the woman who wrote Time Travelers Wife gave it a thumbs up and since I really liked her book I figured it must be good. WRONG! Trust your instincts Amber, they are seldom wrong! Now the two books I want to read sit waiting to be read, promising more enjoyment and entertainment than what I am suffering through now. Has anyone heard of this book?

It's a sad lonley world out there

So being newly single I find myself developing strange new habits, one of which is to look at personals on line. (I have also developed a mean shopping habit-like the one I had before wasn't bad enough!) I fully do not intend on meeting someone this way, and I am in no way shape or form ready to even talk to someone of the opposite sex that I do not already know, and would never post, but I find it entertaining and I have heard so much about this on line dating stuff that I decided to see who is out there.

Well lets just say it is a sad lonely world out there. I know people who do this all the time, and with some measure of success. Stinky managed to find a girl this way and dated her for a short while, until he decided to move back to Ireland. And I am not saying people who meet other people this way are necessarily sad or lonely. But reading these posts, and seeing their pictures, it makes me sad that people are so desperate to find that someone and feel the only way to do so is to make themselves vulnerable to people cruising around the site for fun, like me. Gone are the days when hooking up and finding someone new to date is easy and fun. Especially in San Francisco. Men tend to think all the women in San Francisco are snobby, and all the women seem to think that all the men in San Francisco are gay (because they are!) A lot of the posts I have seen have been from men trying to find a nice girl. Are you out there? they ask. A lot of them are also so superficial that I just want to scream at them that there is more to a person than their bra size. I mean really, come on. So here is my vow: no matter how entertaining looking at the personals can be, and no matter how much time I can waste at work looking at them, I will do it no longer. I have been lucky in life to have been loved even once, and lets admit it, I am more fortunate and better off than a lot of the people in this world. So goodbye personals and the people who lurk here. Good luck in your search!

I don't mean for this post to be jaded or sad. It is just something I have been experiencing, and like mom says, it is good to keep a diary so you can look back and see what you were thinking at a given time and place.

A Weekend Getaway

This weekend I went to my folks house in the OC to celebrate my dad's 70th birthday. I feel like I spent more time traveling than I did actually enjoying the trip. It always sounds like a good idea to fly down to Orange County but I sometimes wonder if it would be quicker to just drive. Saturday I left my house at 10:30 and did not arrive at my brothers until 3:30. Sunday I left my brothers at 1:45 and didn't get to my house until 6:30. Seems like driving would be faster. At least you would be able to see things and not have to get on a God awful plane. AND you can stop at In-N-Out on the way and enjoy a charming grilled cheese and strawberry shake. That alone I think would make it worth it.

The party was a great success. My sister and I flew down and surprised my dad. He knew my brother was hosting them for dinner, but did not know who would be attending. There was also some friends of my parents in attendance and it was a really nice evening. My niece even did a birthday rap for my dad, which was fantastic. My brother and Alison make very good hosts. They also have some really great children. Devin and Jared are the sweetest kids and Colin-damn is he cute. He had a really good time getting smacked in the head with a balloon. He loved it!

Now I am back in foggy foggy SF. I am thinking about what my next challenge will be and I am thinking marathon. I am not sure I can run that long due to the sheer boredom of running, but the older I get the more I enjoy it. I am not picking the best time to start training as soon it will be really cold instead of kind of cold and actually raining instead of big droplets of water from the fog. But, if I make up my mind to do it I will. I just haven't made up my mind yet.

Still no GRE word. I am thinking next week I will get back on the studying horse.

I feel like the Time Travelers Wife

I just read a great book. I have heard a lot about it and I haven't had much time for reading until now. I decided to pick it up and give it a try. It is called The Time Travelers's Wife. About half way in I was wondering where this book could possible go. I was tired of the dialogue and format and didn't know if it could keep me engaged. Thank goodness I kept reading. It was a wonderful book. I am going through a hard time and for some reason this book made me feel better, optomisitic almost. It isn't a book that can alter time or the life that suspends in the pages, but rather shows how people deal with their everyday, which sometimes seems pointless and mute. Maybe everything does happen for a reason? Maybe? Who knows. All I know is I was feeling down and this book brought me up. I don't know if the effects will last when I have to face my empty room but maybe it will make my couch seem more comfortable.

This deciding to postpone college stuff is really bumming me out. I feel like my life is at a standstill. I yearn to travel, escape, do anything than what I am doing now. I am trying to think of a good goal for myself. Another AIDS ride? Yes. But it so far away. It can't sustain me for all these months. I am afraid I will give into my temptations and pack my bag and spend my savings on Spain, where better weather and language invite me to join them. Or maybe Mexico, where my dollars can be stretched far beyond the grasp of Europe? Who knows. I do know however that I am not happy in my here and now and that an escape is going to be necessary. I just don't know what and where that escape will be.

Ah, I am feeling poetic. I just finished the most lovely book and its language has tattoed my brain. It will be gone soon, so I figured I should enjoy its toxication while I can.

I have given up on the flax seed. Yuck

Todays GRE word

There isn't one. I'm taking a break. I'll let you know when it is over. (soon I am sure)

A decision has been made

So I have decided that rather than bust my ass and stress over this stupid GRE so I can apply for Grad school in the spring, I am just going to wait to take the test and apply for school for the fall. I have been so stressed out and with my first application due in less than a month I decided it was worth it to wait and submit my best possible application rather than try to rush it. I am bummed that I will have to postpone my plans but I think it is for the best. This way I will also be able to save more money as well and that is always a bonus. It is a drag but already I feel better. Getting in to school is really important to me and I am not sure if I would be able to rebound if I was rejected the first time around. So, more time to study and more time to learn stupid GRE words.

I went to Yosemite this last weekend and it made me realize how much I miss having a summer. You don't really realize in San Francisco that there is this whole season where it gets hot and it is enjoyable to spend time at places like the beach and the park. I had so much fun being outside and swimming in a lake and just being hot. I think this is why I am going to have to say goodbye to SF some day soon. I need a summer. I am tired of life without one. You can't really understand what I am talking about unless you have lived here, but anyone who has can attest to this. It is easy enough to leave the city, but without a car it just doesn't happen very often.

I have also decided that rest time is over and it is time to start exercising again. This was suppose to happen this morning with a swim before work, but when my alarm went off I quickly changed the time so I could get more sleep. Exercise will have to happen during the day. No waking up early. And because I have delayed my gradate school entry, I can participate in another year of the AIDS ride. This makes me happy. My friend Jen has decided to give it a try this year so I am really excited about that. I think I might also try and do another tri. I need some sort of goal to get my ass in shape.

Have you ever had flax seed oil? It is a really great thing for vegetarians because it provides you with Omega 3 which you usually get when you eat meat. The stuff is disgusting. It is really gross. I try to put it in things so I don't have to taste it but it is also an oil so it makes anything you add it to oily. Yuck.

today's GRE word:
Arrant: in the highest degree